Memories that will Never be
By
Noel Reichel
Noel woke up at about 08:37 and checked his phone. No one had called or left a message. He was a little surprised but glad. There was always the chance that there would be a message from his dad saying they had to cancel because his mom was “sick”. But apparently not this morning.
This was Christmas morning, 2011, and Noel had to wake up at 09:00 to go to his parents’ house to celebrate. When Noel was younger he was like most little kids and had problems sleeping on Christmas Eve, but he never seemed to outgrow this. He certainly slept better now, on Christmas Eve, but if he had to get up to go the bathroom getting back to sleep on this night was a chore. He put his head back down on the pillow knowing he would not sleep anymore but there was no way he would get out of bed before he had to.This was Noel’s first Christmas he had off work in the last six years. In addition, because of his mother being “sick”, sometimes Christmas was not celebrated with his parents. Today was special because it would be like old times.
At 09:00 Noel drug himself out of bed and put on some clothes, brushed his teeth, grabbed his parents’ gifts and left.
When he arrived at his parents’ house his mother was in the middle of making breakfast. “Hi Guy!” his mom exclaimed the way she had when Noel came home ever since he was in kindergarten, and probably even before. It never got old and he loved hearing it. His dad was turning on the fireplace (it was gas). Above his dad hung filled stockings, one for Judy, one for Charlie, one for Noel, and one for the cats. The Christmas tree sparkled and shined with lights and tinsel and candy canes. There were presents under the tree, put there by Santa Claus, no matter what anyone said. Noel gave his Christmas list to his mother by Thanksgiving each year and she must then forward it to Santa as there were gifts from him.
“Merry Christmas. Hey, can you fix the TV? The cats got behind there and knocked the cords out again.” his father asked as Noel put his parent’s cards on the tree and presents underneath. The cats were kittens, less than a year old. Noel called them Gut Ripper and Disemboweler. Of course these were not the names that his parents called them, but too bad.
When the television cords were in their proper place and the fire was going everyone sat down to breakfast. There was sausage, eggs, toast, and homemade blueberry waffles. There was flavored cream for the coffee. There was fresh squeezed orange juice. This was the Christmas breakfast since before Noel had graduated. As his sister moved out and his mom got “sick” Noel did not get to have it every Christmas but he loved it when he did.
His father prayed and then they ate. His father was sober and his mother spoke without slurring. His parents spoke reasonably and Noel took everything to the extreme in order the make a joke. His mother asked if they could just have one adult conversation. It was a wonderful breakfast.
When breakfast was over they cleared the table. Noel got a cup of coffee with French Vanilla creamer. Everyone made their way to the family room.
The structure of the unwrapping of the gifts was a tradition that also dated back to when Noel was still in school. First was the stockings, and the first stocking was the cats’ stocking. Sharing Christmas with the cats was something that was always done in the Reichel household. Noel got down the cats stocking and took each item out separately to show it to the cats. Toys were thrown and catnip was sprinkled. The cats got good and hyper and were given plenty of treats.
Noel then give his parents their stockings and took his and sat on the chair next to the TV table and emptied it. He got candy. He got a video game magazine with Link on the cover and an article about the Skyward Sword. He got some high grade catnip for his own cat. He got a book of Sudoku puzzles. The emptying of the stockings continued at a leisurely pace and then it was time to open the presents.
Noel got down under the tree to find a present for his dad. His dad opened it and everyone watched. He got a bag of good quality, expensive, socks. Next was his mom. She got a super comfortable pair of slippers she had wanted. She must have a dozen pair now. Then it was Noel’s turn. He liked to guess what was in present before opening it. This one was easy. It was a box of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.
And it continued on in this way. Noel got an autobiography of a wrestler. Noel thought he should have gotten The Satanic Bible as that was the first thing on his list but it seemed he never would get that particular book for Christmas. He got the Watchman Ultimate edition on Blu-ray. He did not have a Blu-ray player, but someday he would. He finally got the Jesus Freak two disc set that his mom had told him was on order and she would pick it up after Christmas. That was three or four years ago. Her being “sick” had probably stopped her from picking it up earlier.
Noel balled up wrapping paper and threw it at the cats. Not to the cats, at the cats. Noel loved that. The cats seemed to as well as they jumped around and batted the never ending supply of paper.
Nicki and Noel always knew the “big” gift was from Mom and Dad, not Santa, and to open that last. For some reason that Noel did not understand it was always important to him that he be the last to open a gift, but it was. Now it was time. It looked to be a DVD but Noel could not guess which one. The only movie on his list was the Watchmen. He opened it and to his amazement it was not a DVD but a used copy of Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker! He had bought a used GameCube for himself for Christmas but could not find any of the only three games he wanted to play on it. And this was the game he wanted to play the most. He did not know where they had found it. He did not know how his parents knew to get it. He had just bought the GameCube in December so the game was not even on his list. Perhaps his sister had read his facebook and told them.
Noel would rather get many inexpensive gifts from Santa than one expensive gift. And while the value of all his gifts was not worth a whole lot the process and tradition of Christmas morning was worth way more to him. Everyone was in their right mind and happy. There was no indication of his mother’s “sickness”. It seemed as if the unspoken monster was perhaps not real and that maybe when his mother was “sick” she really was sick. Everything seemed right.
But, of course, this would never be. Noel’s mother had died almost two months ago. He would never hear her say “Hi Guy!” again. There would never be a Christmas breakfast where his mom would ask him to have an adult conversation again. There would be no more filled stockings or presents under the tree to distribute. The old times were gone and they were never coming back. There would be no more fooling oneself that the monster did not exist. Addiction had killed his mother.
FIN
